ALZHEIMER'S CAREGIVING: BUILDING RESILIENCE IN FAMILY CAREGIVERS

 

"Though those with Alzheimer's might forget us, we as a society must remember them." – Scott Kirshenbaum

Serving as a primary caregiver for someone with Alzheimer's disease or another form of dementia can be an overwhelming, long, and intensely stressful journey. Studies have indicated that family caregivers have higher rates of depression and anxiety. However, some caregivers escape these negative physical and mental health consequences and experience positive outcomes from their caregiver roles. These caregivers are considered “resilient”; they adapt and bounce back from the demands of caregiving. Take the L-E-A-P [Learn-Enjoy-Accept-Plan] and read the following thoughts on how to build resilience:

Learn:

Learn about the different phases of Alzheimer’s disease and how your caregiving role will change as the disease progresses. Take advantage of resources and courses from the Alzheimer’s Association. Talk to others who have been through similar circumstances Ask them what worked and what did not in caring for their loved ones and for themselves. Attend a caregiving support group or listen to shows like Love Conquers Alz and Alzheimer’s Speaks. Ask your physician – What’s next? What do we need to be thinking about as a family in terms of the next stage of the illness? What are some things you have seen families struggle with in terms of medical care?

Enjoy:

Enjoy the time together. Create good memories that you can reflect upon as the disease progresses. Find activities that fit where your loved one is in the journey. Tell your loved one that you love him or her while they still recognize you. Celebrate the activities your loved one can still do. Alzheimer’s only gets worse, never better, so don’t look back and wish you had done more with your loved one while you still had the opportunity.

Accept:

Accept that your loved one lives with the brain disease of Alzheimer’s, a disease for which there is currently no cure. Understand that your loved one did not choose or want to be in this position. Acknowledge that caregiving is hard. Recognize that your relationship with your loved one will change and evolve as the disease progresses and that you will feel grief more than once. Accept that you will have a variety of conflicting emotions – love, sadness, guilt frustration, anger, fear, and resentment to name a few – and that these conflicting emotions can exist simultaneously.

Plan:

When caring for someone with Alzheimer’s, it is tempting to live only in the present moment. If you train your mind to look at the horizon, not your feet walking the ground, you can avoid much stress. For example, go ahead and identify living options (and how you will pay for it) when your loved one can no longer live at home. Knowing the answers before they are asked is much better than finding out the answers urgently in response to an emergency, particularly with such weighty and critical issues. Having a longer-term plan can provide you with a sense of control over the future, which should lower your stress level.

The Bottom Line:

Serving as the primary caregiver for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease is a challenging experience. However, building resilience will help you bounce back and adapt to these difficult circumstances. Read  The Gap Between: Loving and Supporting Someone with Alzheimer's by Mary Moreland for more ideas and tips on how to build resilience in caregiving.